Some people feel confident about asking someone out on a date. The braver ones feel excited about inviting someone for a coffee or dinner as they like the rush of meeting new people. But for the more conscious ones, meeting someone new gives them anxiety, panic, and a great deal of sweating.
If you belong to the latter part of the spectrum, let this article be your guide.
We listed below some tips and advice on how to ask someone you met online on a date. We also included some questions you can throw to make your date more interesting. These should help you feel confident during the date or unabashed when things don’t go your way.
How to Ask a Person You Met Online on a Date
The great and easy thing about asking someone you met online out is that somehow, you two expected it to happen. The moment one of you made a swipe right and initiated a conversation, it was already a signal that you were interested.
Nonetheless, if you’re itching to meet someone you met online on a date, here are the things you should do and expect.
1. Strike up a conversation
Hit your online acquaintance’s inbox with a “Hey, what’s up?” or “Hello.”
If you’re on a video call, be sure to smile and make eye contact. Otherwise, you’ll have them thinking you’re not interested at all.
Whatever your situation may be, never ask them out on a date right away. Instead, ask your online acquaintance first what they are doing the following days. Doing this will make the conversation flow smoothly.
2. Ask them on a date
If the friendship is pretty new, taking them out for a coffee date or an office party is safe. Inviting them to a concert with friends will also be less stressful as you will be going out with a group.
If they decline, it’ll be hardly painful. You are already going to a concert with your friends, and your date’s presence would have only been a bonus.
Nonetheless, avoid inviting them to a cousin’s wedding or any family event on a first date. Give them at least one stress-free date first before that. That way, you could gauge the waters, and they’d come prepared on their end.
3. Wait for their reply
Waiting for that person’s response is the hardest part.
No matter how anxious you feel, never spam their inbox! Wait for their reply patiently and busy yourself with anything in your life while you do.
You can also take this time as a chance to convince yourself that whatever their reply may be, it will be okay. The worst that can happen is them answering “no” to your invite, and that is entirely all right.
4. Assure them that there will be no hard feelings if they decline
When you ask them on a date, let them know that they can refuse the offer, too.
Assuring them that there will be no hard feelings will take the pressure off their shoulders. It can also be your guarantee that they won’t go to the date out of pity. More importantly, it will show your online friend that you are confident and mature to manage a little rejection.
5A. If they say no: Move on and test the waters elsewhere
Be it because of the timing, they like someone else, or you’re not their type, never hold on. There will be a short, painful sting, but at least you’re saved from years of possible heartaches if you pursue them more.
Remember that your online friend’s rejection doesn’t say anything about you. Understand that it doesn’t make you less of a person or inadequate for love if they’re not interested in you. Rejections are natural, and it happens to anyone.
5B. If they say yes: Schedule a date immediately!
For most singles in the online dating world, their friends may live on the other side of the world.
If your online acquaintance lives outside your home country, set your date’s time and venue well. If it is okay with them, offer to fetch them at the airport. Nonetheless, when arranging the date, be sure to make the itinerary fun and worth their trip.
Bonus: 12 Interesting Questions to Ask on a First Date
No-pressure questions about themselves are a great conversation-starter:
- What were you like as a kid?
- What kind of books, TV shows, or movies are you into?
- What are some fun things to do in your country?
- What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?
If you want to make your date more interesting, ask them this:
- Who among the ones here (in the restaurant or bar) has the most boring drink?
- Can you guess what those guys on the other table are talking about? (and then put a conversation to their actions like in a pantomime)
- If you could kiss me, where would you take me to make it extra perfect?
- If I asked you to cook anything for me, what would you make?
If your date likes to dive into meaningful conversations, consider these:
- Do you like what you’re doing now, or do you wish you could do something else?
- If you could have a meal with anyone in the world, living or dead, who would it be?
- If you could choose any superpower to save the world, what would it be?
- What’s something you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t?
Have fun on your date!
The great thing about going out on a date with someone new is that you get to feel romantically excited as if it were the first time. It’s even a bonus when your date lives outside your home country. That way, you get to see that part of the world through a local’s eyes.
Whether your date comes out well or not, never let it pressure you. Enjoy, have fun, and be present on your date. And if it doesn’t pan out the way you’d hope it would be, remind yourself that there will be other first dates that should be more exciting than this.